December 2010
29 posts
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A Letter
Dearest Heathcliff,
So here we are. Many years older, still many miles apart. I have fallen in love countless times since you. Did you know that? I did. And each time, I didn’t doubt for a second that I was with the person I was destined to marry, or at least form some sort of hip, lifelong partnership with. I didn’t think of you. Did you know that? I didn’t. I thought of them....
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Deja FU
I am too angry to write. I am too angry to MOVE. I am crumpled in a ball in my robe losing a battle with tears. Just like I’m 19 again.
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Conversations with Anthony
Me: You are really lucky we never had sex.
Anthony: Haha why is that?
Me: Because we'd never be able to have an actual conversation. Exhibit A: Every guy I've ever slept with.
Anthony: Yeah, I think you're right.
Me: I'm going to be celibate.
Anthony: For how long?
Me: Forever, so boys will forget I have a vagina.
Anthony: Haha it's like 9/11: We Never Forget.
Me: Crap.
Anthony: I'm pretty sure my brain's entire frontal lobe is dedicated to vag.
Me: You're like a Country Gentleman version of Gene Simmons, minus the creepiness.
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Hey look, the movie I obviously wrote and directed →
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The Devil Dances
This is me letting go.
A wise-ish man once quoted a psychologist to me. He said, “Every woman wants to date their father, and kill their mother.”. While I find this extreme and ridiculous, because obviously I want neither, I also see how women collectively, subconsciously find men who mirror their fathers.
My father is amazing. He is brilliant and hilarious and indispensable in any...
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Do you wanna hear my confession? It’s my greatest sin. Ok. Here it is: I...
– Cursive.
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From my journal, 12/13/2010
“An outspoken woman is a powerful weapon. Unwilling to hide behind a decorative fan of meek femininity, she proudly leaves behind a wake of detractors. Her life may be trivial in the cosmic sense, but her words, all of their words, live on in universal relevance.”
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From my journal, 12/11/10
“The same traits that inspire fascination and love in people are the reasons for which they will judge you. The things that make you enigmatic and provocative are also the basis of your condemnation. I feel an affinity to the archetypal villainess, because if it weren’t for the darkness of personality, the depths of my depravity, my stories would never see the light.”
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Oh look, the perfect man. →
Gentlemen, please back off. I’ve found him.
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Gossip gossip n**** just stop it. Everybody know I’m a motherfucking...
– Kanye. Genius.
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Error.
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
INTENTS AND PURPOSES
You are so smart.
Snide Comments
Me: Dear (Formerly Interesting Person Who Shall Remain Nameless), Did you read my essay? Sincerely, Meagan Reginald Haynes
FIPWSRN: I skimmed through it yesterday.
Me: Skimmed. Haha. You're like an angsty teenage girl who finds little ways to express her passive aggression. I'm glad to be a part of it.
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Ruby, the Psychic Nana
This is my psychic, whom we shall call “Ruby” for all intents and purposes, when she was in High School in 1876. Wild times.
Alright obviously I have no idea who is in this picture. And Ruby was probably called Svetlana, judging by the thick accent. But she was indeed a thousand years old. And full of “wisdom”.
It’s a Thursday night in Washington DC. The...